More startup checks (#31511)

* no lag!

* kill first

---------

Co-authored-by: Comma Device <device@comma.ai>
old-commit-hash: 1145122b3f

selfdrive/manager/process.py

@@ -281,11 +281,13 @@ def ensure_running(procs: ValuesView[ManagerProcess], started: bool, params=None
   running = []
   for p in procs:
     if p.enabled and p.name not in not_run and p.should_run(started, params, CP):
-      p.start()
       running.append(p)
     else:
       p.stop(block=False)
 
     p.check_watchdog(started)
 
+  for p in running:
+    p.start()
+
   return running

selfdrive/test/test_time_to_onroad.py

@@ -50,6 +50,7 @@ def test_time_to_onroad():
       sm.update(100)
       assert sm.all_alive(), sm.alive
       assert sm['controlsState'].engageable, f"events: {sm['onroadEvents']}"
+      assert sm['controlsState'].cumLagMs < 10.
   finally:
     proc.terminate()
     if proc.wait(20) is None: